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It has come to our attention that completely unfounded “RUMOR’S”
that cast members are engaging in scandalous and unspeakable
acts with other cast members need to be set to rest once and for all.
So for the record:

1. Ann Chovie did NOT sleep with the director to get a speaking part,
despite what certain cephalopods might think, she is simply more
talented than you. And I categorically deny EVER having had “pizza”
with that girl.

2.  The rumor that cast members have been eating one another with
or without fries and coleslaw is ridiculous. No evidence of such
cannibalistic activity has ever been proven. Those styrofoam
containers in the trash were left by the last people to use our set.

3.  Anyone willing to give it away for free can be in this film. This is
not true. We are no longer casting or auditioning bands for inclusion
in this film.

  I hope this clears everything up…  

                  SalmonMan (Aka W. Allan)
Director /caterer/ press agent   “Sleeping with the Cohoe’s”
~ Rumors from
around the set ~